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PTSD: When the Past Doesn’t Stay in the Past

Updated: Dec 7, 2025

By Donna Burfield - Joy & Purpose Coaching

 

PTSD isn’t just about “big” traumatic events or dramatic flashbacks, and it doesn’t only affect veterans or emergency responders. It can come from experiences people dismiss, minimise, or carry silently for years.

 

PTSD is what happens when the brain and body haven’t yet realised that the danger is over.

 

It lives in the nervous system, in the startle responses, the nightmares, the sudden panic, the shutdowns, the emotional numbing, the overwhelming guilt or shame. It’s not about being weak. It’s about having gone through something too intense, too frightening, or too overwhelming for your system to process at the time.

 

And it is far more common than people think.

 

According to NHS England, around 1 in 10 people will develop PTSD at some point in their lives. The World Health Organisation estimates that more than 300 million people worldwide are affected by trauma-related disorders. PTSD can appear weeks, months, or even decades after the event, which often leaves people confused, ashamed, and wondering, “Why now?”

 

But you are not broken. You are responding to something too much for one person to carry alone.


 

What Is PTSD?


PTSD, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, is a response to an unnatural event. It happens when the brain stays stuck in “danger mode” long after the threat has passed.

 

Trauma can come from:

 

  • Abuse (mental, physical, emotional)

  • Neglect

  • Violence

  • War or conflict

  • Childhood trauma

  • Medical trauma

  • Life-threatening events

  • Accidents

  • Sudden loss

  • Birth trauma

  • Relationship trauma

  • Chronic stress or instability

  • Bullying or emotional cruelty

 

Trauma isn’t just measured by what happened; it’s measured by how alone, unsafe, or powerless you felt in the moment.


 

Types of PTSD

 

1. PTSD (Single-Event)

Triggered by one traumatic event. Symptoms are often intense and intrusive.

 

2. Complex PTSD (C-PTSD)

Caused by long-term, repeated trauma, often from childhood, abusive relationships, caregiving trauma, emotional neglect, or environments where you were not safe. C-PTSD includes all PTSD symptoms plus deep issues with self-worth, trust, identity, and emotional regulation.

 

3. Delayed-Onset PTSD

Symptoms appear months or years after the trauma. Often triggered by stress, life changes, or reminders.

 

4. Birth Trauma PTSD

A form of PTSD following a frightening or traumatic birth, affecting both mothers and partners.

 

5. Secondary / Vicarious Trauma

Common in carers, frontline workers, therapists, and family members who witness trauma indirectly.

 

6. Medical PTSD

Triggered by invasive procedures, life-threatening diagnoses, or long-term treatment, especially when a person feels powerless or unheard.


 

Common Symptoms of PTSD

 

PTSD affects the mind, body, and nervous system. Symptoms can vary widely, but these are common:

 

Re-Experiencing Symptoms

 

  • Flashbacks

  • Nightmares

  • Intrusive memories

  • Emotional or physical reactions to triggers

 

Avoidance Symptoms

 

  • Avoiding places, people, or situations that remind you of the event

  • Numbing or shutting down

  • Avoiding difficult emotions or conversations

 

Hyperarousal Symptoms

 

  • Feeling constantly on edge

  • Being easily startled

  • Irritability or anger

  • Difficulty concentrating

  • Insomnia or restless sleep

 

Negative Beliefs & Emotional Changes

 

  • Feeling unsafe, even when nothing is wrong

  • Chronic guilt or shame

  • Low self-worth

  • Emotional numbness

  • Feeling disconnected from yourself or others

  • Persistent sadness or hopelessness

 

Body-Based Symptoms

 

  • Chronic pain

  • Tension

  • Digestive problems

  • Chest tightness

  • Fatigue and exhaustion

 

PTSD doesn’t only live in the mind; it also lives in the body.


 

Why PTSD Can Surface in Midlife

 

I see this often in coaching: people over 40 or 50 suddenly experience anxiety, guilt, flashbacks, or emotional overwhelm with no clear explanation.

 

Research shows this is due to:

 

  • Hormonal changes reduce emotional buffering

  • Stress and responsibility accumulate over decades

  • Retirement, divorce, or health scares can trigger memories

  • The brain finally feels safe enough to process what it couldn’t earlier

  • Long-suppressed emotions resurface when life slows down

 

Midlife isn’t the cause; it’s often the moment the body finally says, “We can’t keep carrying this.”


 

What Helps, (Gently, Safely, and at Your Pace)

 

Healing from PTSD is absolutely possible. Not quick, not linear, but possible.

 

Professional Support

Trauma-informed therapists, counsellors, and trauma-trained coaches can help with grounding, processing, and rebuilding.

 

Evidence-Based Treatments

 

  • Trauma-Focused CBT

  • EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing)

  • Somatic Experiencing

  • Internal Family Systems (IFS)

  • Sensorimotor psychotherapy

 

Regulating the Nervous System

 

  • Slow breathing

  • Grounding exercises

  • Safe movement (yoga, walking, stretching)

  • Nature

  • Routine and predictability

 

Connection

Trauma heals in safe relationships. Trust-building and community are powerful.

 

Compassion

You cannot bully or shame yourself into healing. You can only heal with gentleness.


 

UK Support Organisations

 



🌿 You can explore more free tools, articles, and supportive resources on the Joy & Purpose Coaching website.

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